omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize