Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
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And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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