absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
