I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He has the fingertips of a God
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