I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
