Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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