It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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