Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
