The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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