I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize