I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
