that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize