I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
