Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He passed out mid-signature
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You can't just leave with hair like that
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
