Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
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Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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