My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
