Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize