I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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