He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
