like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
