As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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