I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
