My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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