i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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