I got chris browned last night
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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