Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize