I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
