i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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