Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
