she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
im six kinds of drunk right now
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize