Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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