wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?