I smell stomach acid.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.