So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.