Kiss
Puke
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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