Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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