They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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