? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
