Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
