Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
wow bdsm is so cute
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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