My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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