Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
