Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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