i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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