Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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