ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
