direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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