so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
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Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
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We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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