youre lurking in front of me
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
