A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Mom said you looked used
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
