im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
