listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
