Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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