i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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