he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
