they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize